Are Kristy and I ‘Public Enemies?’ We’ll See…

This past Thursday Kristy and I met in Chicago for a meet and greet with the extras casting department on the movie being shot around the area “Public Enemies.” The movie stars Johnnie Depp and Christian Bale. Kristy is more fond of Bale than Depp, but said that she would not mind being in a scene with either of them. But, I digress…
Kristy got to Chicago about an hour before I did, so she met me at Union Station, where my bus drops us off. It was cold, cloudy and rainy, so we took a cab to the casting office. The cabbie apparently did not know where the place was so he dropped us off about four blocks too soon and said “it’s around here.” Great, thanks.

Kristy and I walked up and down a nice neighborhood street. The street did have its fair share of commercial establishments, such as the “Erotic Warehouse,” but overall, the feel of the neighborhood was a bit artsy combined with light industry. It was nice, and only about two miles from downtown.

We walked three block and could not find the address. There was an unmarked door, but that seemed too “sketch” as Kristy would say. Well, we wandered around back and found another door. This was the loading dock as we were soon confronted by a man wheeling empty produce cartons, who, if surprised, did not show it. We trekked on.

Kristy and I wandered around the ritzy restaurant like we were casing the joint. We kept looking in windows at diners and staff. We probably walked by the building three or four times, before I suggested we cross the intersection and look around. We did and lo and behold we found the door marked with the address.

We entered, signed in and proceeded to the casting room. It was cluttered with desks and photos all over the place. It was relaxed, but intense. They handed each of us forms to fill out.

“Can you ballroom dance?”

Me: Kristy, if I have no rhythm should I mark that I can dance?

Kristy: Probably not. But you could mark yes to the question about learning how to dance
quickly.

Me: Ummm… I don’t know if that is a good idea. I don’t want to be the guy tripping, rolling an ankle and screaming out in pain during a scene. I better be honest.

“Do you have any hobbies (such as stamp collecting or knitting)?”

Me: Can you knit?

Kristy: I can learn. Do you think I should mark it as a ‘yes’?

Me: Maybe.

“Do you have any talents (such as juggling or fire breathing)?”

Me: I am talentless.

Kristy: You can sing. You were in choir.

At this moment, I glance at Kristy’s sheet and it is full of musical instruments and her hobbies. I look at mine and question my ability to be an extra.

Me: I really cannot sing. (As I write down signing in my talent column)

We finished our forms and Kristy whips out her recent color photo that the casting people required. Shoot. I whip out an envelope with four pictures to choose from, two of which I liked the most and hand it to Kristy.

Me: Kristy. Which picture do you like?

Kristy, apparently never seeing such an envelope before, rips the entire side off of it. She later claims she panicked, but I think she just wanted the part and sabotage the competition by making me look unprofessional.

Kristy: I like this one. (Pointing to one I did not like)

Me: What?!?

I capitulated, turned in the picture she chose, and the casting director is probably at this moment in Oshkosh looking at the angled picture of my unshaven face and thinking, “and this talentless kid thinks he has what it takes to blend into the background of a movie scene.” At this point, she crumples my information card and picture and throws them away, destroying my Hollywood career, probably forever…

Next, we had our pictures taken, without smiling. Check.

Casting Agent: Kristy you do know that you will have to cut your hair if cast.

Kristy: I know, can you tell me how long?

Casting Agent: Shoulder length to a bob.

Kristy’s jaw dropped, but recovered quickly and mumbled some type of affirmative response. Kristy was relieved a little when the agent said she was not sure if she would cut her hair. I later learned Kristy added a category to the questionnaire and checked maybe to the question regarding hair. Although not the same situation, I have found that in multiple choice exams, adding your own answer does not work out so well. We’ll see, though.

We left the casting office and the rest of the day we had lunch at Giordano’s, shopped at Nordstrom Rack (a perennial Chicago favorite) and sat in an underground Starbucks talking and doing homework. Overall, it was a good day. It was nice to see Kristy for a time, albeit brief. In addition, perhaps one of us will be “discovered” and in many years, be able to tell everyone the funny story of how our amazingly lavish Hollywood career started as a whim and just a fun thing to try. Or, we will not be cast, and “Public Enemies” will bomb when it comes out. It is really up to the casting director at this point…